Emerald Paradise

Jacob Is Finally Here!

2010-08-11T15:55:00.000-07:00

Jacob has finally made his arrival on 8-3-10 and 7:10 9lbs. 1oz and 20 1/2 inches long. It was so strange, I didn't even know I was in labor when I went to the hospital. I had called my doctor about something else and she said that they wanted to check and see if my water had broken. I went to be checked out and no, my water hadn't broken, but surprise, you're already almost dilated to 5! The nurse said you're not leaving this room today without a baby. Wow! It all was so sudden. I made my phone calls to family and sat there alone in the room waiting and trying to take in the idea of going to be a mommy by the end of the day.

After a few hours I asked for an epidural, and was I ever nervous about getting it. My heart rate shot up and I actually started hyperventalating a little. I didn't know I was hyperventilating, I just noticed my head started feeling woozy. After that the epidural seemed to be working...I say seemed to be. As my labor advanced I noticed there was a spot it wasn't working. It was the entire lower half of my stomach and I was in pain! As time went on I was screaming every time I had a contraction. I was hyperventilating again due to being in so much pain, and my husband had to make me focus on him and do my breathing. At the end of my labor I had to fight the urge to push because I wasn't quite dilated to 10 I had a rim left and they told me if I pushed I would bleed..great incentive to not push. I really tried, most of the time I held it off but my body just did it on it's own at times. I was begging the doctor to let me and was so relieved when she said yes. I think pushing was the easiest part of the labor because it felt like a huge relief to be able to do it. I pushed for about 19 minutes and he arrived. My labor was a grand total of 8 hours.

Everyone is doing great right now. I had a very nice recovery, I was up walking around that evening. I am of course a little sore, but I think I am doing great compared to what some people have told me how they were feeling afterward. Jacob had a bit of Jaundice but he was never bad enough to be treated. We had to go to the pediatrician a few times, and on Monday they said it was going down. We go back on Friday to check and see if he has gained any weight, the last appointment he hadn't yet.

Even though the labor was rough, I would do it all over again without a second thought. I am so happy to finally have the family I have been praying for for over 2 years. God has truly blessed us.

Baby Shower!

2010-06-14T11:12:00.000-07:00

I finally had my baby shower this past Saturday, and things went pretty well overall. It started at 2, and only a handful of people were there at that time, but by 2:30 we had a large crowd. I was very happy with how the decorations turned out, I thought it was different than most showers I've been to, and that is what I was going for.I was very pleased with the cake that we got. It turned out beautifully! We got a local lady to make our cake, her recipe just tastes so much better than what you can buy out of a store. She also did our wedding cake, so I knew it would taste good, but I was a little concerned what the picture on the cake would look like. Turns out she's pretty good at that too.I got tons of clothes, which is of course a good thing, but I was hoping to get a few more packages of diapers. I got only 2 packages of newborn diapers, which may due me a little over a week. I got a few other packages that are different sizes, but I will have to buy more newborn sizes, but every little bit helps. :)We had a lot of good food to eat as well, my mother-in-law got some of her family to bring a dish of food, and David and I bought chicken tenders for the main course. I just didn't want to have finger foods if I could help it. I know that I don't really like them, so I didn't want to feed something I wouldn't want to everyone else.

It was a good day, but I sure was tired afterward.

Getting Nervous

2010-06-10T08:30:00.000-07:00

Only 9 weeks left! It's so close, yet so far. I have to admit, the thought of child birth is making me very nervous at this point. Up until now I have just kinda pushed it out of my head because it was 'so far away'. Now, I feel like it's almost upon me and I have to face it...whether I'm ready or not. I won't go into the details of exactly what I'm afraid of, I'm sure most of you know what happens during that time anyway, but it seems soooo scary. I've started reading the things you may experience after..nobody told me about the after!! *shudders*

I'm sure it will all be fine in the end, I know it's a little scary, especially for a first timer, but it's worth it. I just saw a picture on facebook of one of my friends who had a baby last night. I of course, started to cry. All I think of is, "What will Jacob be like?" I want to hold him in my arms and count every little finger and toe, kiss his forehead and just stare at him in amazement! I can't take much more, why isn't it August yet?!

One more thing to look forward to..or not..is my baby shower this Saturday. I guess you are scratching your head wondering why wouldn't you look forward to that? Well, I am a person of a very nervous disposition. lol I hate being in front of a crowd, and since it is MY baby shower everyone will be focusing their attention on me at some point. If only I could melt into the background and just have all of those gifts without anyone making a fuss. That would be a perfect world to me. :) I suppose I can handle a couple of hours of it, after all I want those baby gifts!

Doggie outside my window

2010-04-23T10:48:00.000-07:00

Pregnancy hormones..they're a killer. I find myself crying my eyes out over things that may have just made me slightly upset. For over a week I have been fighting these feeling over a silly little dog. My neighbor lets his dog run free, and he came to my house. At the time, I didn't know he was owned by anyone, I thought he was a stray. Being my animal loving self I played with him and let my dog play with him. Last Saturday I got a knock on my door from an old man who lives a few houses over and said that it was his dog. He told me he was trying to keep it from coming over here and wanted ME to 'give him a good switching' when he comes over. There's no way I'm going to do that! I don't beat my own dog, let alone someone else's dog. I took the hint though, and I have not given the dog anymore attention. The problem is, he won't leave! He follows me every where I go, tries to run after my car when I leave, and cries outside of my window looking at me. I can't take much more! It's breaking my heart. Today it's pouring in the rain and he's soaked to the bone and wants inside. I don't want to go against this guys wishes, but if he wants his dog he needs to keep him indoors or make a fenced in lot for him. I'm not sure, but isn't there a law against letting your dog run free?

I'm just very frustrated with this man. He doesn't seem to care for his dog in any way except giving him food. A dog needs more than that, he needs to be played with, given some attention, and this dog especially, needs to be groomed. I wish I could have this dog, but I can't. I wish I had the guts to go up to this mans house and offer to pay him for the dog. I can't see how he would really care, seeing how the dog is never even at his house. But, it's not my call. I guess I'll just sit here and look out my window wishing I could play with him.

Relief!

2010-04-19T20:43:00.000-07:00

Today I had my monthly checkup for the pregnancy. I'm pleased to report Jacob is doing just fine. They were asking me the routine questions, and when they asked me how I felt, I told them fine except for the pinched nerve. The doctor asked if I had ever seen a chiropractor, and I said no. She asked if I wanted a referral, and I said sure, I would try just about anything to make this pain go away.

Well, I went to the chiropractor and was nervous...just thinking about my bones being moved in my spine was a little scary. I was sitting in the waiting room all by myself, and couldn't help but over hear two patients that were ahead of me being treated. I heard grunts and "oohs" and "ahhs" and "right there, right there!" I was like oh my gosh..they sound..orgasmic. Hearing that almost made my anxiety go away. lol

Finally, it was my turn. I went in and told him my aches and pains, and mentioned that I have had minor back pain since childhood and was told by a doctor in my teens that I had scoliosis. That doctor NEVER told me to get treated. The chiropractor said if I hadn't came in within a few years, that I would have been too late to treat it. I was shocked! I didn't know it could be treated, and I certainly didn't know there was a time frame. So, after I deliver I can be treated for my scoliosis. As for the the pinched nerve I originally went there for, he made me lie on my side and he did the realignment. I heard so many pops, but it didn't hurt. I didn't make the noises the patients ahead of me had made. lol I'm happy to say that my pain has eased up a lot, but not completely gone. He said as much. He told me that he can ease my pain and make it a lot more bearable. I think I will just have to wait until my pregnancy is over to have it go away completely.

Next month, on May 17th, I will be able to do a 4D ultrasound. I am SO excited for that. I have seen my sister-in-laws video and David's cousin's video of their 4D's and it is so amazing. It's like you are looking at the baby. They set it to music and film the parents at the very beginning, the whole presentation looks great. I will have David and my parents there to watch. I really want my mom to be there because she's not been able to be there for any of my other ultrasounds, and the 17th is also her birthday. I thought it would be special for her to see her first grandchild in 4D on her birthday. :)

Baby Dreams and Worries

2010-04-16T11:46:00.000-07:00

Dreams, they are always a source of fascination to me, mainly because almost every night I can remember them in such detail. Last night, I had a dream that needs no interpretation, it's pretty much self explanatory. For some reason, Jacob had been born early, but yet was still healthy. I was like oh my gosh, I have nothing ready! I noticed he needed a fresh diaper, so I tried to find the changing table..it hadn't been put together yet, so I got David to start putting it together. Since there was no table I went to change him on the bed, of course I got the poo on our sheets and on his clothes. I searched for baby wipes to clean him up..nothing! Why don't I have wipes?! I tried to find clean clothes for him, we had none. I was about to scream! The only good part of this dream was that he was healthy, and I had become comfortable handling him. One of my anxieties is getting use to positioning him because I 'think' he's so fragile. lol I know better, but it's still a small fear of mine.

Obviously this dream is my fear of having nothing ready by the time Jacob gets here. His room is still a 'junk' room. There's no crib, dresser, changing table or decorations that have been purchased. We will hopefully have the furniture bought within the next month and have decorations and clothes from the baby shower. If I don't get everything we need we will still have a month and a half to get it after the shower. Why am I freaking out over it? Well, if you talk to anyone that knows me, they will tell you it's impossible for me to NOT freak out.

Another worry, that is actually legit, is that I found out that I have Group B Strep infection. I am currently on antibiotics and will need antibiotics by IV during labor to keep Jacob from getting it. My doctor doesn't seem that worried about it, so that makes me feel a bit better. I, of course, think of worst case scenarios, what if I go into premature labor and the baby doesn't get the antibiotics in time? I'm so scared that I could lose him, or he becomes handicapped in some way. I ask that everyone keep us in your prayers.

Ouch!

2010-04-06T08:22:00.000-07:00

I just got back from my doctor's appointment because my hips and inner thighs have been hurting. I was told I have a pinched nerve, and boy does it hurt. The explanation I got was that as the baby gets bigger and pushes on me, my vertebrae in my back move, and that can sometimes caused a pinched nerve. I seem to have gotten 'lucky' and had it happen to me. My body can get use to it and my pain could go away, but I could also keep it until delivery. I hope it gets better, otherwise I have 4 more months of this. I guess I am paying for the wonderful first trimester I had. I felt so good then when most women feel their worst. Oh well, it's all worth it. :)

My Easter weekend was great. On Saturday I went to a church cookout and watched all the children hunt eggs. I got to meet my 2nd cousin, who is almost 2 years old. He is what I hope my baby boy will look like. He has such pretty brown curly hair. Unfortunately David didn't get to go with me, he stayed home to work on our house. But on Sunday we went to church with my parents, and on the way we had a flat tire. Luckily we got it changed and was only 15 minutes late. Church was also late to start, so it turned out fine. We also went to his parents house and watched his family hunt Easter eggs. I didn't get to see David's little niece because her mom still hasn't had her baby yet, and needed to stay near the hospital. But I saw cute pictures of her on facebook of her hunting eggs in the yard with her grandparents.

Update

2010-03-29T08:06:00.000-07:00

It's been quite a while since I've posted. Nothing has really happend worthy of reporting. And that can be a good thing, it means things are going very smooth. :)

I've reached 20 weeks pregnant, and I'm starting to feel like I have a drum inside of me. I keep having that feeling of being beat on, and little Jacob is my drummer boy. lol I had the anatomy scan done at 18 weeks, and he was given a clean bill of health. Thank God! That's when I got to find out the gender of our baby. I didn't really need much help figuring it out once it came upon the screen. lol I felt like screaming, "I can see his wee weee!!" But yeah, that would've been inappropriate at the time. :D

Church has been going well, I really like where we started going. It also gives me a chance to see my sister-in-law. She is going to have her little baby at ANY time. She went in a couple weeks ago to stop her labor, but now it's safe for her to have the baby. She's gone back 2 times this week because of contractions, but it just never seems to happen. We saw her yesterday evening and she was once again having contractions and having back pain. We're all hoping it will happen soon, especially her because she's in so much discomfort.

Yesterday was great, we all got together at her house and had a birthday party for David's mom and brother. I had the most fun watching David play with his 2 year old niece Isabella. First time I've ever seen him play with baby dolls. lol The best part is when Isabella, her doll, and David all had plastic bowls on their heads for hats. Wish we had a picture of that, it was so cute. He said he couldn't wait until he could play with Jacob. :) We will have our time, just have to wait.

We are now in the market for a new mattress. I wonder how many pregnant women shop for new mattresses?? lol My back has been killing me! I have this horrible dread when it's time for bed. I know I'm going to lay on that lumpy mattress with no room. We have a very old full size bed, it was my mattress before we got married. I got the mattress from my grandmother who had it in storage for I don't know how many years. I bet it's older than me! David gave in yesterday and we are going to try and buy a queen tempurpedic mattress. I am so looking forward to that! A full size is just too small for a girls growing belly, a man, and a dog to all try to sleep on.

I haven't played World of Warcraft for a while now. I played for a little while on my warlock, and it was fun. I got her to lvl 80 and got some nice epics. But they just weren't nice enough to take on the big raids. I guess if I had stuck with it long enough I could have gotten her there, but just sitting around waiting in que for a dungeon wasn't very fun. I got to the point where I only really needed gear from the new Ice Crown dungeons, but I almost always got a group that wouldn't finish it. Either the healer or the tank got mad at someone and left, which made us have to wait forever to find a replacement. The best runs I had was when I got my husband to fill one of those roles. He doesn't play anymore either. He is basically in the same rut I am. He started to play Aion again, but I doubt that will last long. It just something to do because we are so bored in the evenings. I don't know what to do with my time now that I don't raid!! I miss WoW, but I can't find anything to hold me there. There seems to be set raid groups, and I don't want to disrupt that by raiding a while and then quitting, it's not fair to those who are dedicated.

Church

2010-02-22T10:23:00.000-08:00

Recently going to church has been on my mind a lot. I have been a believer since I was a small child because my parents took me to church and explained it to me. Now that I have a child on the way I feel that I should do better and raise it in church like my parents did me. I also have been having these feeling before I got pregnant, it's just now they are stronger. I guess you could say I have been 'lukewarm' for a while, and I know that is not good.

I chose a church that my brother-in-law and his wife go to. I've visited there a couple of times and really enjoyed it. I like the way the pastor presents his message and I enjoy hearing them sing. They don't sing what most churches around here sing, which is the older gospel music. Not that there's anything wrong with it, it's just not for me. I can't say that I've ever liked it. My mom and dad love it and I remember as a child closing my door and turning up my t.v. to block it out. It sounds so 'twangy', like bad country music.

This church also seems to be active, and has a lot of activities if you choose to take part in them. Once I have my child I would like to join MOPS (Mothers of preschoolers). My sister-in-law goes and enjoys it, so I think I would give it a try.

I'd like to buy a new Bible, one that doesn't have all the thee's and thou's in it. I guess I will have to go to a Bible Bookstore and ask someone who works there to help me. It would be no use asking my parents, if it's not the New King James Version you are just wasting your time. lol

Well, keep me in your prayers that I keep this up. I really want to do better. :)

WoW Complaints

2010-02-03T10:32:00.000-08:00

I have recently taken a leave of absence from World of Warcraft. Why? I was bored of doing the same things over and over, and being almost rock bottom dps. Granted, I never researched my class further than what type of gear I needed and the stats I required. I just recently read Daughter of Ravenholdt Manor, and saw her graph of the diffrent classes dps. Guess what, balance druids were on the bottom! AHHH! What am I good for? I can't think of much. I have a buff and a battle rez, and if you're a leather worker you can do the buff without a druid being present. If I went feral dps I could do better if I had the gear, but I don't WANT to be feral. The rotations are a pain to keep up with, in my opinon, and it means I have to be melee. I enjoy being in the background throwing my spells at the boss. Plus, fuzzy boomkins are just cute. :) Is that any reason to play a balance druid, not really, but it doesn't hurt.

Other things that took me from WoW was the raiding situation. I didn't really enjoy 25 mans. Sure, you got much better gear, but you had to pay for it with constant head banging. I'm not a hardcore raider. I don't like trying a boss more than 3-5 times. After that I start to scream at the computer screen and make not so nice remarks to myself about whats going on. I also had little patience with those who don't know what to do in the raid after they had done it before, many times, or asked repeatedly what to do with loot when the raid leaders have instructed us before the raid.

My prefered raiding situation is a 10 man with the same people, or at least mostly the same. Now that there have been a lot of people quitting WoW, the guild has been forced to do 10 mans and only do a 25 man once a week. I REALLY wish that was the way it was when I was playing. To be honest, I liked the guild when it was small. It's so large now, and they have to try and please the majority. I understand that, but it's just not the way I liked it. Maybe I just don't like change, that is probablly the biggest part of it. The raids when we were doing kara, that was the best times for me. It was a small group of close knit people having fun.

Oh well, I guess I should stop complaining. Things change, and if you don't change with them you get left behind. At least I have good memories. I won't be gone from WoW forever, I may even be back within a month of so if I see the guild is still doing 10 mans more than 25. But I will certainly be back for cataclysm. I've got to make a worgen druid. :)

Our Bouncing Baby

2010-01-28T13:08:00.000-08:00

Yes, that's my little one. He/She is getting so big! I'm starting to feel a little more at ease now that I've gotten to the end of my first trimester. I know that there is always a chance something can go wrong at any time during a pregnancy, but it's now less likely.

I got this ultrasound two days ago, and it was the most exciting thing I've ever seen. Sure, I've seen the baby in earlier ultrasounds, but I always thought it looked like a little blob. I couldn't really make out what anything was. But that's all now changed, as I layed there on that table watching the big screen in front of me, a little human image came into focus. I was amazed! I didn't even realize that I was tearing up until I noticed I couldn't see the screen very well anymore. This is what I've been waiting for for 3 years! I looked over at David and he was smiling at me, and I could tell that he was just as happy as I was. I turned my attention back to the screen and saw our baby move around. He/She was moving their hands around and bouncing all over the place. I wonder if that's why I have to go to the restroom so much? lol I also thought it was so cute when the baby decided to flip over and show us it's little rump. It had it straight up in the air. :)

This ultrasound was actually to determine if the baby has any genetic defects. While I still have to wait for results from my blood tests, the doctor said the baby looks normal. They measured the fold on the back of its neck and that is suppose to determine if it has a higher chance of having down syndrome. I was very relived to hear that it appeared normal.

I have an appointment with my OB this Monday, so I hope our baby gives us another good show. I can't wait to see it bouncing around again.

Good news, bad news

2010-01-11T16:27:00.000-08:00

Today I went to the doctor, just like last time, I wasn't expecting anything out of the ordinary. I was calmed by my obvious pregnanc symptoms, so I didn't think that anything was wrong. But I found out I lost one of my little babies. Of course I am upset about this, but I find myself taking it a lot better than last time. This time is diffrent, I still have my hopes in the living baby. The doctor said that the baby is very healthy looking and is growing ahead of what is expected. I hope it stays that way, it makes me feel a little safer.

One thing that makes me nervous is the doctor asked me if I wanted a Nuchal translucency screening. It screens for problems such as down syndrome. He tells me it's optional and doesn't think anythin is wrong, but yet he askes me if I want to do it. It makes me feel scared he thinks something could be wrong. But, no matter what happens I will still love my child with all my heart. I am just so thankful that we still have one baby on the way, and pray that everything will be ok.

7 weeks

2009-12-23T11:14:00.001-08:00

Today marks my 7th week of pregnancy. I'm still very worried about them and will feel a lot better when I hear their little hearts beating. I go on Monday for my next ultra sound, and I pray everything goes well.

I am already starting to fit a little snuggly into my pants. I started to notice yesterday that my shirt seemed to feel tighter, and I decided to try on a pair of pants that usually fit me pretty well. They are way to tight now and I seem to spill out of them a bit. I have been keeping an eye on my weight and I've only gained a pound. From what I have been reading this in perfectly normal. A couple of pounds at this stage is considered ok and I read that your pants should be becoming snug in your 7th week..and that's if your having one, I'm having two! At least I have a couple of pairs of pants that still do fit me, but for how long? I may be going clothes shopping soon. lol

I have been taking it easy and trying not to over do anything, but I have to say, if it were up to my parents I'd be on complete bed rest and never move until it was time to have them. My mom warned me against vacuuming..come on! I surely hope I can push something around on wheels and not get hurt. I don't lug it up and down the steps, but that's different. David's been handling it pretty well, he just seems to get overly worried when I don't feel that well. I actually, so far, have been having it very well. I have only gotten a little nauseous a couple of times. The major thing that concerns me right now is the soreness in my tummy. I've read that your uterus is expanding to make room for baby at this stage, so I hope that's all it is. I don't want a repeat of last time. I was told not to worry unless it feels like a cramp, and I am having a hard time determining which it is. It's in God's hands, and hopefully I will find out more on Monday. Merry Christmas everyone!

Twins!

2009-12-15T15:40:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I went and had my first ultra sound, and much to David and my surprise, we're having twins! When I was laying there I sadly could not see the screen as they were doing the ultra sound, but one of the nurses did a little gasp of surprise. I heard the doctor say "Just amazing". I was sitting there wondering, "WHAT! Tell me." He just said two. I thought I didn't hear him right and I asked, "Did you say..two?" Wow! What a shocker. Of course, I did know this was a possibility, he did tell me I had a 10% chance of this happening, but come on, do you really think it would happen? I wanted it to, I prayed for it, but realistically I just assumed there would just be one. But God blessed us with two! The doctor was so shocked that this happened to me. The lead nurse, which is also his wife, explained that it was such a miracle because my "E2" is very low (estradiol..not sure what it does) and my egg quality isn't that great. Dr. Assad always seems to mention how he doesn't understand how I got pregnant with such low levels, and now I further stumped him with having twins. lol

I don't think it's totally sunk in yet that there will be two. It is mind blowing right now but it still seems unreal. After the shock has worn off my mind began wondering how am I going to do this! I have no experience with children and I was worried about learning to care for one, now I have two at once to worry about. I suppose I will learn very fast once they come. I will have no choice but to learn. lol Our extra bedrooms aren't that large, how am I going to squeeze TWO cribs in there? How do I soothe two crying babies at once? My mind just keeps racing. Besides worrying about when they get here, more imminent is the pregnancy itself. I know carrying twins can result in a lot more complications and early labor. I need to keep nutrition on my mind because I certainly don't want two tiny skinny babies. Gotta eat those veggies! I have noticed I have been getting hungrier lately. My tummy growls a bit more than usual. I guess I'm already working hard at helping those babies grow. That's really the only symptom I have noticed, but I am also still very early in my pregnancy, tomorrow makes 6 weeks. The 6 weeks marker makes me nervous because that's when my last pregnancy terminated. I know the whole first 3 months it can happen, but in my mind if I can get past that I will feel much better.

I guess to sum everything up I'm ecstatic and extremely worried all at the same time. This is certainly a journey that will change our whole lives. We are going from a family of two to four in a very short time.

Special Early Christmas Present

2009-12-04T08:39:00.000-08:00

It turns out, that I'm pregnant again. I was so happy when I found out. I got the 'official' word from my HCG Beta test that I was, but the home test told me already. Of course I know they have to do that test, they want to watch my hormone levels and make sure the baby is growing. So now comes the scary part, waiting for the next 3 months. I have been sooo very careful not to do anything that could cause strain. I'm pretty much like "Don't touch me!" lol I feel like a walking piece of glass, I don't want anything that I could do to make this pregnancy not to work.

Putting all of my worries aside, I am so thrilled. My sister-in-law was right, this is the best early Christmas present I could get. Too bad I can't get the actual gift until August. :) You know what would make it even better? If there were two babies. There is a 10% chance, so I will keep my fingers crossed until I have my first ultra sound. The doctor actually put back 3 eggs this time, so there is a very small chance of triplets. I think I would fall over if there were three. But, I am guessing there is just one, but it's nice to dream of what might be.

I've also started keeping a journal from the start of this current IVF to the end of my pregnancy. I would like to keep a record of everything I think and feel through out this whole process, and maybe when my child is old enough let them read it. I also want to buy a memory book I saw at Books-a-million. It has pockets in the pages to keep momentous and a place to put a picture of the mother each month of the pregnancy. Seems really nice.

Also, in all my excitement I don't want to forget who really made this happen. God has given me this blessing and I don't want that to slip from my mind at any time. Doctors can only do so much, but God makes it happen.

The Real Santa Claus

2009-11-23T10:58:00.000-08:00

I was reading one of my friends blogs, Fear the AoD, and he spoke of a kindly gentleman who resembled Santa Claus. In his post he spoke of our ideas of Santa and how he is the spirit of giving. It got me to thinking, why is he so iconic? So I did some research.

Saint Nicholas of Myra is the primary inspiration for Santa Claus. He was the bishop of Myra in Lycia, who was famous for his gifts to the poor. He believed in "sell what you own and give the money to the poor". He dedicated his life to spending his inheritance to helping those in need. One of the more famous stories of Saint Nicholas is about a poor man and his three daughters. They needed a dowry to be able to marry, but they had nothing and were destined to be sold into slavery. On three different nights a bag of gold appeared in the stockings hung by the fire to dry. Sometimes the story says it was three balls of gold, which are now represented by oranges.

Saint Nicholas is also known as the patron saint of sailors. One story tells that he visited the holy land to walk where Jesus walked, and on his return trip a horrible storm threatened to sink them. He calmly prayed, and to the amazement of the sailors the winds died down.

There is also an interesting story that takes place long after his death. Townspeople of Myra were celebrating Saint Nicholas and on the eve of the feast day Arab pirates come and steal the treasures of the saint. On there way out of town they kidnap a young boy and force him to serve as a cup bearer to their king. For a year he was his servant, but on the next eve of Saint Nicholas he is whisked away and taken back to his family by Saint Nicholas himself.

Another interesting tidbit, is that Saint Nicholas was apart of the first Council of Nicaea, which gave us our first uniform Christian doctrine.

If you'd like to find out more interesting facts about Santa, you can go here, which is where I got most of my information.

Mermaid Girl

2009-11-22T14:45:00.000-08:00

Shiloh Pepin was a young lady who I saw on television who touched my heart. She had a condition called sirenomelia, or mermaid syndrome. Her legs were fused together and was born with no genital organs, lower colon, and only one partially working kidney. The doctors said she wouldn't make it past a few days of life, but she lived. She lived to be 10 years old, and passed on October 24th. She came down with a cold very quickly and it progressed to pneumonia.

Stories like hers is such an inspiration. How many times have you given up because something was too hard? She lived her life to the fullest that she could. She learned to swim, went to summer camp, and rode a special bicycle. She did the things little girls did at her age.

I saw her facebook page, and it was over flowing with condolences. She obviously touched many peoples lives, and I'm sure God sent her here for a special purpose.

Thanksgiving's On It's Way

2009-11-17T11:35:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving is just around the corner, and I know I am already dreaming of my grandmothers homemade dressing and fruit salad. Unfortunately, this Thanksgiving is going to be different from all those that I remember. You know that this time of year we are all 'suppose' to be closer as a family, and having good cheer etc etc...well try to tell that to my family. My uncle is in the midst of a divorce, his children are going to be having Thanksgiving with their mom instead of us. To me it's really sad that they don't at least make the effort to try to visit both places. I really wanted to see my baby cousin and I know for sure my grandmother wanted to see him. It would've meant a lot to her to share Thanksgiving dinner with her great grandchild. To me all of this is a minor inconvenience, but for her I know it will be a heartache. I'm very close to my grandmother and I hate to see her get so upset. I just know that Christmas dinner will end up being the same way.

Besides my obvious family troubles, I am still looking forward to Thanksgiving. I just love watching the Macy's parade and watching the performances. I also like to watch A Christmas Story that usually airs that evening. Who doesn't love watching that determined little boy get his Red Ryder BB gun? I love watching him go gaga over that leg lamp and getting the boot to the forehead from Santa after hearing those horrible words, "You'll shoot your eye out kid!".

Another favorite tradition is the day after Thanksgiving. While everyone else is facing horrible mobs shopping on Black Friday, I always put up my Christmas tree! There's nothing better than to put on some of the classic carols and decorating your tree.

Thanksgiving is also a time for reflection. I am so very thankful for my family. I have been going through a lot lately, and I've had their support every step of the way. I'm also thankful for all the small things, like my little dog Bumble, dogs are also woman's best friend :) Going out with friends, good music, a fun game to play, watching the critters outside, taking time to count the stars, and all the things that make up my everyday life, all these things make life great.

**********

Tomorrow I go to have surgery to take out my eggs for the IVF. I'm nervous about it, I remember how it hurt last time. I will say one thing, my doctor doesn't mind giving out the pain meds. lol Monday when I went to his office he gave me a prescription for Lortabs and Valium. I've not taken Valiums before, but I have had just one dose of Lortab from the last time. I'm not a big medicine taker. I only took that one dose because David was tired of hearing me scream every time I moved...

Saturday is when they put the fertilized eggs back and December 2nd is when I take a pregnancy test. I would say keep your fingers crossed, but I think it's better to say to have your hands folded in prayer :) Luck has nothing to do with it. God gives the gift of children, not the doctor.

Early Christmas Fun

2009-11-08T09:22:00.000-08:00

Yesterday David and I had a very nice time with his brother Derek and wife LeAnn. We all went to see A Christmas Carol in 3D. I absolutely LOVED it. This was also there first time seeing a movie in 3D, and they enjoyed it as well. I have only seen a hand full of movies in 3D, we have only moved here last year and we weren't near any theaters before that would show them.

There were parts of the movie that I actually found a little scary. lol When Marley comes to haunt Scrooge, they make it very creepy. They sort of built up to the point and made me jump a couple of times. Also, when Marley's jaw comes unhinged is a bit scary. But as it goes on, it becomes a joke because he tries to still talk and acts silly. I guess that's what you call the comedy relief. :) When the Ghost of Christmas Future enters the picture, it becomes a little unnerving. He mostly shows himself as Scrooges shadow, but then chases him as the driver of a hearse lead by two very evil looking black horses. And of course, the scene when Scrooge falls into his own grave gets your heart pounding as well.

After the movie we went on to Chili's for dinner. It was only the second time I've ever eaten there, and of course I got the ribs. What's a trip to chili's without ribs? It was good and messy, but my clothes survived.

We then went shopping and each got to go to our favorite shops. LeAnn is an avid reader so we went to Books A Million. I found a Christmas themed book called The Legend of Holly Claus. I've only gotten 60 pages into it, but it seems like a wonderful fantasy book. It's filled with fairies, goblins who dress up as elves, centaurs, fauns and many others. I admit it's more of a young adult novel, but who cares. :) Next was Derek and David's turn, they went to Best Buy. I was a little bored. They of course found tons of stuff to look at and I even got a gift idea for David. Next was my turn, I got to go to the Old Navy Outlet. I bought a blue coat with some fuzzy fabric on the inside. Very comfy.

At the end of the day we came back to our house and they played with our doggie Bumble. It was a very good day. I had lots of fun.

Drama, in Game and Out

2009-11-04T09:06:00.000-08:00

Eternity Matters seems to be going through drama again. I won't go into detail about that because you can see it on the forums if you really wanted. But I guess I read the blog from a previous member that got me down that was directed at the drama. I helped with the new website slogan, and she pretty much bashed it. I had no intention of 'misusing scripture'. I guess I am a very sensitive person and it hurt me. She then went on to say that God doesn't care that we play WoW. Maybe not in a literal sense, but he cares about me and I know he cares about what I do. So if I find friends and can hear the Word in WoW, then I'm sure He cares a lot. I don't understand why anyone wants to stir things up, I suppose they feel a certain conviction in what they are saying. I know when I feel something deeply and no one listens I get frustrated. This doesn't mean I agree with them, I just think I can kind of understand why they do it. On the other hand, it makes me wonder if they enjoy doing these things. It seems to me that sometimes they do, but I am on the outside looking in.

In real life news, I am going to the doctor again tomorrow. This will be my first time driving there on my own, and I'm nervous. I confess, I HATE to drive long distances, it makes me very nervous. But this is very important to me, so I can't wait for someone to do it for me. It is less than two weeks now that I will do the actual IVF. I'm nervous to whether it will work or not this time. It worked last time, so I am praying that it will again. Just this time, I hope I have a happier ending.

This past week I was put on some anxiety meds, that alone makes me feel like a failure. That seems like a strange thing to say doesn't it? It just bothers me that I don't seem to be the master of my emotions that I'd like to be. I am just not dealing with the stress well, and I guess it was time to get some help. It's also not like I'm the only one in my family to be this way, my father, grandfather and other great uncles and aunts are like me. We have a very nervous nature. If only I could be like my husband, who is as easy going as possible. If we do have children, I want them to be like him.

Life Goes On

2009-10-13T08:22:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I made a phone call to the doctor's office and told them I wanted to do IVF again. I have so much nervous excitement, and a little bit of dread. I have had to wait a couple of months until my body healed and they will finally let me try again. I don't think I have to tell anyone this, but I am going to go crazy during this. I am already off my rocker emotionally since I lost my baby. This past week I have cried at least once every day. Sometimes it just comes on with out any reason, and other times it's because I happened to be watching a show where someone was pregnant. Maybe it's too soon emotionally to try again, but I just can't sit and wait.

I'm hoping that I can get pregnant this time as well, it would really help the holidays go better for me. The IVF will be done by the end of November and I should know by around 2 week after. This holiday I will see my sister-in-law pregnant and I don't know how that will affect me, but if I was pregnant again I think I could handle it better. On the other hand, if I did this and I don't get pregnant...I don't think I can show up. Not unless they want a bawling, bitter person with them. I don't think they'd like that much. I don't know if they'd understand, his family already talks about her pregnancy in front of me. That bothers me quite a bit. It HURTS. I want to scream that at them, but I can't. I'm happy that they can have another child, but I am not ready to face that situation yet. I suppose that's just life and you've got to live with it.

Ghostly Encounters

2009-10-05T07:57:00.000-07:00

It's that time of year again, when we turn our mind to the creepy-crawly and things that go bump in the night. I'm sure most of us have been asked, "Do you believe in ghosts?", and my answer has always been yes. But, I looked up what the Bible has to say about ghosts and I found my answer here. It basically says that, no there are not spirits of dead people left on earth, but there are good and bad spirits which are called angels and demons. So in other words the so called 'ghosts' that we see are in truth demons. That makes me more afraid of them than when I thought they were just dead people. So why do we see the image of people that have gone on before us? Why is that sometimes 'ghosts' seem friendly? As the article explained, a demons job is to deceive us and lead us from God. It gave a great example of how we put our faith in the psychics to contact spirits rather than putting our faith in God.

At the beginning of the blog I said that I always answered yes to believing in ghosts, and I'd like to share with you why. When I was a young girl, maybe around 12, I was walking down my driveway to meet the bus one early morning. While I was waiting I heard a childs voice say, "up down, up down, up down" and then let out a horrible scream. I associated the up down phrase to the cliffs that were behind my house. At the time I didn't know what to make of it. Later, I was playing near my house and again heard the same voice calling me to the cliffs. It said "Come and play". I went to look but no one was there. I ran away feeling spooked and heard "Wait for me". I heard the voice another time, but it called me by my nick name Ron. I told my parents and grandparents about all of this and they believed me about what I was hearing. My grandma was very scared for me, and told me to tell it to leave me alone in the name of God, to rebuke it. I went to the cliffs and said what she told me to say and I never heard from it again. I always thought that it was a dead person, but I guess in truth it was a demon. I wonder what it's purpose was?

Around where I grew up as a child I have listened to ghost stories that have happened to my family. There have been tales of horse ghosts you could hear running, slaves you saw floating in the window, disembodied foot steps, and knocking spirits. The knocking spirit seems to be the most common. My father, grandparents, and I have all heard it. My dad and I have both heard knocking on our windows only to find nothing there. And it's not just a quick tap, it seems to be timed in between the tapping and lasts for several minutes. My grandparents on the other hand claim to hear banging on there door and sides of there house that are loud and violent. It happened during a Bible study once that she was holding in her house and multiple people heard it. Maybe it was trying to stop them from studying the Word?

Taking in to account all of this I have often wondered if it was our family these things were after? Or maybe it is contained to physical area, because I have never experienced anything outside where I grew up. Everything that I described happened around there. I guess it will be one of those things I can only speculate about. I hope you don't think that I am crazy, although I wouldn't blame you if you did. :)

Dreams, what do they mean?

2009-09-24T09:25:00.000-07:00

I have always had vivid detailed dreams. Almost every morning I can remember my dreams, and I see dreaming as an enjoyable experience. Last night I had a strange dream that I couldn't quite get out of my mind. In the beginning I was sitting in a dark room lit by candle light with people I don't actually know in real life. I believe the room was an old play house my grandpa built for my cousins, because when David and I came out of it I was standing in their yard. We were arguing about whether or not to go camping. I didn't want to go, but since David wanted to I decided to go. After that I remember seeing snakes every where. It freaked me out. I sat down again on the ground and saw small brown snakes crawling towards me. I jumped up and ran away from it. This happened constantly through out my dream. I don't actually remember going camping in my dream, but I do remember being in a car with David coming home from it. I was looking out the window and saw the landscape seemed to be flooding. The ground was very soggy and I saw streams that were swollen. Once again I saw the snakes, but this time there were fish that were out of water gasping for breath. I felt sorry for those fish. I told David the next one we saw I was going to put it back in the water. We saw another on a bridge and I got out and pushed it back in, but it made a hissing sound but didn't hurt me. I saw then it was another snake, but this one was bright green and very large and had a head like a cobra. It just went into the water. Then David and I drove up to a mansion and I remember running up to the door and knocking and David let me in. Then there was a house keeper inside that talked with us about our trip. And that was the end. Veeery strange.

I decided to analyze it by what I could find on the internet.

Darkness: Being uninformed or feeling confused, being in the dark

Candle: They symbolize light and where there is light, there is hope. A lit candle suggests that you are unconsciously seeking comfort and some sort of spiritual enlightenment.

Flood: A body of water rising or flooding can represent: A feeling of overwhelming circumstances invading in your real life, such as your to-do list or an emotional crisis

Snake (This one had multiple meanings): Transformation; fertility; rebirth. Also evil or represent fears.

Brown: Brown is also an autumnal colour and as such may signify a (feeling of ) decline; low spirits ordepression.

Green: Life, growth, fertility, transformation, abundance, prosperity, Inexperience or immaturity. A need for healing
Cobra: may symbolize creation, and creative energies. Some situation or relationship has you hypnotized.

Fish: he fish symbol has been used for millennia worldwide as a religious symbol associated with the Pagan Great Mother Goddess. It is the outline of her vulva. Some people believe that when you dream about fish you, will soon find out that you or someone you know is pregnant (water of the womb). Others believe that if you see fish in your dreams, it is a forecast for sickness and poor health.

Bridge: Bridges take us from one location to another, usually across an (emotional) body of water. If youdream of bridges, you may be in transition in your life.

Door: opportunity; Locked door: blocking an opportunity

Mansion: Having a broad scope of options or opportunitiesAspiring to magnitude, having big dreams, high ideals. An expanded sense of self

Housekeeper: To employ one, signifies comparative comfort will be possible for your obtaining.

Rogues, Pirates, and Bears Oh My!

2009-09-22T09:28:00.000-07:00

I have recently created a rogue named Koann, and I have to say I am really liking it. I have made multiple rogues before and could never get passed lvl 15 because I always seemed to die..a lot. But this time I have heirloom weapons and the only time I've died is traveling to Booty Bay to get the pirate achievment. lol She was way to low lvl to do that, but I did it anyway. I am already lvl 32 thanks to heirloom items, and I can't wait until 40 so I can get my fast ground mount. I am also using a mod that my husband uses to lvl up. It's called tour guide I think. You just make your toon and then tell it where you are starting from and it tells you every quest to get to lvl up. It doesn't make you get every quest in an area, sometimes you even start a quest chain and don't finish them. That part bugs me a bit. I hate not finishing chains, especially if I have done a lot of it.

Last week Eternity Matters decided to have some fun on Pirate Day. It was a silly affair. Many guildies got a mod to help them speak like a pirate, and others just tried on their own. That evening some of us got together and had a race through dead mines. One lvl 80 and a character 15-25 went in together and raced to see who could get done first. I had a great partner, Syyiand was played by his younger brother and he was a killing machine! lol He went in as a balance druid and just moonfire spamed and when he gathered them all did hurricane. It was beautiful *cry*. Being a rogue, I just stealthed the whole way and followed him so I wouldn't get hurt. lol And of course the good part, we won! Our prize was an admirals hat. I can't wear it yet, but I will when I'm able to.

Today is patch day, and I'm excited. Onyxia is now lvl 80! I have no idea how hard she will be now, but of course I want to try it. I signed up for an ulduar run for tonight, but I hope that we get to do this now instead. But for all I know she could be too hard. :( Well, I got my fingers crossed.

I also decided to change Lunas's off spec to tanking. I have gotten a lot of gear recently to replace some of my blues or kitty gear. I've gotten a pair of boots, pants, helm, weapon, and two trinkets since I last tried to tank. I figured since I never played as kitty and trying to do the correct rotation was a pain I'd try to be something a little more useful. I found myself in a couple of situations just this past week that I could've tanked for the betterment of our heroics. Instead David had to switch to his tank so we'd have someone. He would rather play his healer, and it made me feel a little bad. According to WoW Heroes my tanking gear is up to 25 man Ulduar and 10 man ToC. I just need to learn how to tank again. Where to situation things and such.

Hobbies

2009-09-06T19:07:00.000-07:00

Lately I have been trying to find something to do besides sitting in front of a computer screen all day. I have been thinking about it for some time now and have decided on a few things to start doing around the house to keep my mind occupied. First of all I use to take violin lessons, and I think I am going to pursue that again. I never got very far in my previous lessons before I had to quit, but I was able to squeak out a few simple songs. Needless to say, I have forgotten every single thing I learned from those lessons. I hope I can find someone nearby the give me lessons. I called a local music store and they didn't know anyone near here. So I am going to call another music store in another town close by. I really would like to start practicing again, I had a lot of fun with it.

I also use to draw a little. I never was very good at that either, but it's a hobby I enjoyed. My favorite subject to draw was my favorite anime Sailor Moon. I mostly sketched when I was in high school and just seemed to drop it for some reason. But tonight I decided to pick it back up while David was raiding. I had a picture on my desktop that I really liked so I decided to try and draw it. Here's the out come.

I know it's a little light, the camera wasn't able to get it as clearly as I'd liked. I'm not that great, but I think you can at least tell what it is. lol The original picture had flowers surrounding it, but I wasn't comfortable drawing those yet. Maybe I will practice and go back and finish it someday.

Well that's all I have for now, later. :)

Emotions

2009-08-24T12:44:00.000-07:00

I am so tired of being jealous. It's not something I can completely control. I try to 'look' happy and show a smile, or I try to push thoughts from my head, but it never goes away. I was in the doctors office today waiting to talk about my upcoming D&C tomorrow. This doctors office is of course an OB/GYN's office. So what do I have to face there? Many, many happy pregnant women. I wanted to run away and cry. I saw a lady with a big pregnant belly, I saw her cute belly button showing through the fabric of her shirt. I looked at her and wished so badly I was like that. I also had burning jealousy when I over heard another lady speaking with her sister. She was only 18 and had a child and was having another. I hate seeing that most of all. She fooled around and got pregnant, while I try my hardest and am in a stable loving relationship.

Also, in my family there are others that are pregnant. Being jealous of them is what makes me feel the guiltiest. I am happy for them, I really am. They both have other children and are great parents. I know they deserve to be happy. But when I look at them, all I think about is why are they better than me? Why are they allowed to be happy and not me? Why am I not good enough? Why am I broken?

Last week I had such a horrible dream. I dreamed that I gave birth to my baby and it was alive. I knew I wasn't suppose to have the baby I was holding. It was suppose to be dead. But I looked at it's face and held it. I saw it's gender, it was a girl. I called her my little Brianna, and I cried for her not to die. That dream tore me up. I wish I never had it. I was holding her, and now I can't really do that.

I'm sorry, I know this is all very personal stuff. I just wanted an outlet.

Past Week

2009-08-20T07:43:00.001-07:00

This past week has been very frustrating. First off we had our accounts hacked, so we didn't play wow for a while. Then, our Internet was down for days. I just about went crazy!..or maybe I did, I dunno. lol During that time we didn't have much we wanted to do, and I never thought I would see the day, but David and I went to bed at 10:30 because we WANTED to. Usually the only time we would ever consider that is if we had to get up early the next day. But we were so bored we just went to bed. lol But I think we were asleep for about an hour on the couch, so we actually went to bed about 9:30.

Also, last weekend we visited David's parents and later on his brother and his new bride. :) They seem to be adjusting well. I figured they would, they have been together for years and I don't think it will be that big of a challenge for them. They also have 4 kitties in their house. They were so sweet and very friendly. Just as all young cats are they were very lively and we were watching a scary movie that night in the dark..and I jumped a few times because the cats were doing acrobatics in the air in front of me while I was into the movie. lol I guess I got some extra thrills. But it was good for David and I to get out of the house and be with friends, especially since we were feeling down about losing the baby.

I made a little memento to remember the baby. It has the poem I posted earlier with baby foot prints and hand prints all around it with a picture of an ultrasound at the bottom. I framed it and put it where I can see. I think it's just my way of grieving. I wanted to do something.

I went to the doctor yesterday and I'm scheduled for a D&C Tuesday. I'm nervous about that. It's an outpatient surgery, but my doctor says there is a very small chance I could have scar tissue in my womb after that, and it may make it harder to get pregnant. Like I need any more obstacles. I was looking up on the Internet about PCOS the condition I have that makes it hard for me to conceive, and it said that 48% of pregnancies end in miscarriage. I don't like those odds. So if I take that number in a literal sense, maybe my next pregnancy won't end in miscarriage. But I know I shouldn't.

I'll Hold You in Heaven

2009-08-15T07:40:00.000-07:00

As some of you already know, we found out we lost our baby. I found this poem, and I think I will make a scrapbook page with it to have a reminder within reach.

I'll Hold You in Heaven

From the very beginning I loved you,
As I made plans to hold you and rock you:
You were tiny and helpless as you lay in my womb,
But something went wrong and soon you were gone;
My young heart was broken, my tears fell like rain,
I'd never known such heartache and pain.

I wonder who you look like, me or your dad,
Do you have my smile and his eyes?
Would you have been big and tall or tiny and small?
We had dreams for you that reached to the skies.
It was long, long ago and I still miss you so,
Thanks to Jesus, I'll see you in heaven.

I'll hold you in heaven someday,
When my trials on earth pass away;
The angels have rocked you, the Father watches over you,
I know you're waiting for me;
I never could hold you or tell you "Goodbye",
But I'll hold you in heaven someday.

WoW Woes

2009-08-04T07:57:00.000-07:00

It's sooo awful. I wanna play wow tonight, but my stupid computer is still broken. The part doesn't come in until Friday. I would love to get on and do some of the new stuff, but I don't see that happening. I will probablly get on when the servers come back up to see my druid with her new fur colors, but instancing seems out of the picture.

David is also wanting to play his lowbie paladin he made with me but since all I can do is play on his laptop, it kinda sucks. The graphics are horrible, and just walking around the environment flickers around me. It's annoying. That's just in the beginner areas, imagine if I tried to go to dalaran with that. lol

I still have my concerns when it comes to raiding. I've still read the forums and it seems that we are going in a direction of more hardcore raiding, and most people are wanting it. I'm not really wanting it. I just want to have fun in the raid and listen to people be silly. I do however hate the multiple afk's, but I suppose that is something you must learn to deal with. Sure, I like it when we get something new down, but if it means everyone is tight lipped the whole time, it doesn't seem worth it to me. I will admit, I hate banging my head on new content, I'm just not cut out to be a raider really. So when we go into something new and we die more than 3 times, I'm ready to call it. lol

These are all just my normal rants I suppose, and I know not much can be done about them. I'm not asking anything to change, I just like to let off steam on this blog. lol I'm not really on a lot to know how the raids are going right now. /sigh It's kinda disappointing because I know I'm not getting any points and when I do go anything that drops I could be out bid.

American Idols Tour 2009!

2009-08-03T08:24:00.000-07:00

Two days after the American Idol Concert and I still have Mad World ringing in my ears. I had a blast! It took us about 4 hours to get to Charlotte, NC and when we got to our hotel I was beat. But unfortunately they wouldn't have a room available for another 2 hours. /sigh So we decided to go out and eat. David printed off the address to Buffalo Wild Wings, one of our favortie restarants that we don't have locally. Wouldn't you know it, our navigation system couldn't find it. It took us a while but we blundered around until we found it. lolAfter we finished our lunch we went back to the hotel and actually got a room. I had to wait 3 hours until it was time to leave for the concert..the time ticked by slowly. Around 5:30 we left and went on the peraless journey to find a parking spot. Unsuprisingly we had to pay $10 to park close..but I didn't want to walk very far in the dark. We waited in line about 15 min. and then the doors were opened! We got seated and now all I had to do was wait another 30 min. This time it didn't seem to take so long because I was soaking up the atmosphere and trying not to get dizzy from our seats that were so high up. lol

When the concert started I was excited! Of course they started from number 10 and worked there way up to the winner of American Idol..so I had to wait a while before I got to see Adam.

But everyone performed wonderfully!

When Adam finally took the stage everyone was screaming so loudly! I was one of them. hehe He performed about 4 songs I believe. I laughed my head off when some ladies threw their bras on stage. He picked one up and started swinging it around and danced a little and you could see he was laughing too. He threw them back into the audience eventually. I have a video of one incident with a bra, but I don't have the video on this computer yet to share it, so I went to youtube and found one someone else had. It's at the bottom of the page.

David was my camera man, and he got some great stuff. Since our seats were so far back we borrowed a pair of binoculars and he actually took close ups by putting the lense through the binocular lenses. lol It worked pretty well.

After the show came the best part. I know what your saying, wasn't the concert the best part? Well yes and no. After we exited the stadium we saw a line of people waiting to get autographs

and I decided I wanted to get one too. :D So David and I joined in and we actually got a pretty good spot. I wasn't right next to them, but I was just one person back from those who were, so

when they passed all I had to do was reach over one persons head and they signed my paper.

That rocked! I got to see all my favorite idols up close! I did make one little mistake. When Scott came around I just put my paper in front of his pen and he signed it..but since he was blind he ki

nd ran into another signature I had. Doh!

Why didn't I shift the paper around better? Oh well. lol

After all the excitment was over it was time to call it a day. We got back to the hotel about 12:15

. It was a very long day, but very exciting. Here are some random pics from the autograph signing. They are a little blurry, but it's all I got. lol

2009-07-31T07:43:00.001-07:00

Yesterday I became 7 weeks pregnant..and yesterday was the first day I felt sick. I just felt nauseated for the better part of the morning. I also went for a check up yesterday and David and I got to hear the heart beat! So exciting! It gives you that feeling of it's truly alive. The doctor mentioned something about it being behind in it's growth by a couple of days, but he didn't seem very worried and just told me to come back in 2 weeks. Hope everything is ok, but since he didn't show concern I feel pretty good about it.

I also got the 'thumbs up' to make an appointment with an OB here at home. Since I had to have help getting pregnant I had to go to a specialist that is about 2 hours away, and that's no fun to have to go to every few weeks. So finally, after my next appointment, he's gonna release me! He's a great doctor and I wish I could continue seeing him, but I don't think I will want to drive 2 hours when it's time to deliver. lol

In wow news..well there is no wow news. My computer has been acting up on me and I have to wait for a part. Right now I am on David's computer, because if I use mine over 30 minutes, it just goes off. It's something to do with the fan not working, but I just know it's broken and David has to fix it. lol

And something I've been looking forward to for months is..the American Idol Concert Tour!! YAY! Tomorrow at 7 p.m. I will hopefully be listening to all my favorite AI contestants. My favorite of course is Adam Lambert, but I also liked Anoop, Scott, Allison, Danny, and Kris. I just know I'm gonna have a blast. :D I even ordered a t-shirt from cafepress.com with Adam's eyes. It really is his best feature. lol

I'm also very excited to be going to this concert for another reason, it's my first concert I've ever been to. Sheesh, it's about time I'm 23 years old and never experienced one. In about 7 months I really won't have the opprotunity to go to concerts or things like that, so I'm very happy I get to go. Not that I'm regreating it, not in the least! I know I could always let my parents baby sit for a night or something but I don't think I want to do that..in the beginning at least. All parents need a break from time to time but I will be a new mom and I think you'll be hard pressed to get me to part from my baby for any length of time. lol

Cowabunga!

2009-07-27T12:55:00.001-07:00

Today was a fishing day in world of warcraft. I didn't have luck in all my endevors today, but I did get the achievment The Coin Master, which I have put off way too long. I also tried to fish for Mr. Pinchy for about an hour, got nothing. I did both fishing dailies and didn't get any pets, and I fished in the sewers and didn't get the sewer rat. Oh well, I will keep trying.

Although when roaming the Dalaran Sewers today I found a cute refrence to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

I enjoy finding things like this through out the game. Some are very obvious, but like this one, it takes a second glance and you go "oh! I get it." Who knows how many times I have passed this scene and just didn't think anything about it.

In other wow news, my husband and I made two lowbies together. He made a paladin, and I made a mage. I have always wanted a mage, but I find that I always died quite easily. Now that we are lvling up together I have a protector! Currently we are only lvl 9, but I hope to play more tonight when he gets home from work.

Spice it Up

2009-07-23T07:34:00.000-07:00

Lately I have become very bored with WoW. I just can seem to find anything to do outside of doing daily quests and those seem to get tiresome after a while. I logged in yesterday and decided to change my main spec to feral dps. I don't think it went over very well, but if I don't do something I might not play at all. I know I've been absent from the game a lot, and I feel bad about that. But I need something to help spice things up.

Last night I went on a Nax 25 man run. I think it was a case of 'when the cats away the mice will play'. Don't get me wrong Roger and Deb handled the raid beautifully, but there were some people that couldn't help but complain through out the raid. I felt like banging my head against my desk at times. And this isn't the only time I've felt this way. Sometimes other peoples sour attitudes rub off on me and it keeps me from having a good time. I really try to ignore it, but I soak everything in. David says he just ignores them and he has a good time during raids. I wish I could do that. I really don't want to turn into a person who says they won't raid with certain people, but I can't enjoy my time in the raid.

On the flip side, I love the 10 man progression runs in Ulduar. Usually people are more light and in a good mood. Sure we die a lot, but no one complains much.

Baby Update!

Well, according to the doctor today I am considered 6 weeks pregnant. They do it strangely, I've only actually been pregnant about 4 weeks, but they tack on 2 weeks before consception. /shrugs I dunno why, but I will just go with it. lol I love to go online and look what is happening week by week. This week my baby will be the size of a chocolate sprinkle :) His/Her heart will begin to beat, and the arms buds will develop. As for me it says that if you're going to develop morning sickness, it will be this week. I surely hope I don't.

I had my first ultrasound done 2 days ago, and I got a picture in the album. It's just the egg sack because the baby is too small to see, but it's special to me anyway. :)

I've also decided what we are going to be doing with our tax refund this year..baby furniture! lol David wanted a riding lawn mower(we have a huge back yard). But unless we get all we need from the baby shower, that dream of his may have to be put on hold. Sorry honey :) I want to do the room in Pooh Bear. It's good for either gender and there's a lot to pick from in stores because it's popular. I am a very excited momma to be. :)

Wonderful News!

2009-07-10T07:06:00.001-07:00

Yesterday David and I got the best news of our lives, we're going to have a baby! I have never cried because I was happy before, until yesterday. I just went into David's arms and the tears started to stream down my face. I was thanking God the whole time.

Yesterday started out kind of uncertain though. I got up at 6:00 a.m. to take a home pregnancy test and I saw two lines, but the second line was faint. I still didn't know anything. David and I had to wait 3 hours before the doctor came into the office to contact him. Those were 3 very long hours. When the office finally opened I got the fertility nurses' (Missy the doctors wife) voice mail, it said they were gone to a fertility conference and wouldn't be back until the 17th. WHAT?! I can't wait that long! So I called the main office back and told them my problem. Then about 30 min later I got a phone call from Missy! She told me to go to the hospital and take a blood pregnancy test. So we rushed and got ready to go.

Once we got there I asked how long it would take to get the results. She told me about 15 minutes. Lies! David paced the halls and I fidgeted for about 45 min trying to get the test results. But the wait was well worth it. :) I got the results I have been looking for for over 2 years now. It showed that I was about 2 weeks pregnant. Of course after I composed myself I started making phone calls. It was the most interesting to call my mother, I told her she was going to be a grandma and she flipped out on the phone. lol I heard screams of joy on the other end.

I would also like to thank everyone that kept us in their prayers. I know that those prayers helped. :) I would also like to ask you all to keep us in our prayers that we make it to term and have a happy healthy baby. I know the first trimester is the most dangerous for miscarriages, so after the first 3 months I'll breath a little easier.

Aion

2009-07-06T08:43:00.000-07:00

I'm very excited about a new MMORPG that's coming out in September, it's called Aion. I've been playing the closed beta, and I love it. It's a very beautiful game. The graphics just make your jaw drop.

This is a pic of my 'Asmodian' (Aion's equivalent to horde) taking a flight path.

Right now she's not a very high lvl, I've only gotten her to 10, but you can only go to lvl 20 in the beta, so I'm not that far behind. :)

I also grabbed some quick shots during a cinematic battle, that looked awesome.

As you can see, you get wings and can partcipate in arial battle. I haven't actually had an arial battle yet, I just earned my wings at lvl 10. :) As far as how the classes play it's very easy. The above character is a priest and at lvl 10 I chose to make her a 'chanter' which is a dps class. Of course you earn new moves as you progress, but something new to me is that you have chain moves. And the best part is I don't have to remember in what order to do the chain because the button automatically changed into the next move in the chain.

Another really nifty feature are titles you can earn. Of course I love to earn these types of things, but they are also benefical. I just have one title so far, it's 'Treasure Hunter', that particualr title, when you have it active gives you +4 Accuracy.

I'm going to leave some videos to show you guys a little better about how great it looks. :) Enjoy.

Love

2009-06-29T06:50:00.000-07:00

I would like to take the time to say how awesome my husband David is. :) I have been going through some painful stuff here lately for my IVF, such as egg retrival, and he has been there for me the whole way. I have had to have visits to the doctor every other day, and at the end every day, and the docotor is 2 hours away. He's taken off work to make sure I get there safely. And when I was in pain from the retrival he pampered me the whole time and was sooo worried about me.

Also, if you read my last post about how I'm crazy over Adam Lambert and REALLY wanted to go to the concert and couldn't afford it? He suprised me with tickets one day after work!! He did some research and found cheaper tickets and a hotel room. I was jumping all over the place with excitment. He's the sweetest man ever. :) He didn't have to buy those tickets because I had contented myself with thinking we couldn't go. I had tried to put it behind me, but he got them for me anyway.

That's all I really have to write right now, I just wanted to share how greatful I am for him. :)

Adam Glambert Mania!

2009-06-20T08:50:00.000-07:00

I have a confession to make, I'm crazy about Adam Lambert. It's a horrible sickness, I can't seem to look up enough articles, watch enough interviews, and listen to enough of his music. I've never been star struck before in my life...until now. lol

I admit, in the beginning I didn't even register that Adam was in the competition. I liked Anoop, Danny, and Allison. Then it slowly crept over me, I can't remember which episode it was but some how I got swept into Glambert mania. Although seeing him perform Mad World was very awesome, and definitely reinforced it.

I tried to get the Rolling Stone magazine with him on the cover, I asked the lady in Barnes and Nobel, she said "You mean the issue that everyone in this freaking country is after? We sold out the first day. You'll have to back order it on the website." I think I died a little inside when she said that. lol

I have been listening to some of his music pre-idol, well, because that's all I can get right now. And some of it is pretty nice, others are a little strange. But the one I posted above seems a little 'prophetic' to his future success. :)

I was so close to being able to see him in the Idol concert. My birthday is coming up and I planned on pooling the money I got to buy tickets, but after you add all those horrible 'handling fee's' and the shipping costs that are outrageous for 2 pieces of paper, I couldn't afford it any longer. And those were for the nose bleed seats. /cry Well I will content myself with videos for now :)

Early Memories

2009-05-18T14:06:00.000-07:00

I was reading a guildies blog, The Tank Hunter, and he had a great post entitled Memories. I thought I would do a similar blog with my own wow memories.

I remember my husband played wow for a couple months before I decided to play. He kept trying to get me to play, but I always put it off. I kept watching him do dungeons with his guild Guardians to the Throne, and I decided it looked pretty fun. He got me a trial account and I made Lunas. She was my first character and my favorite. I haven't found anything yet that has beaten playing a druid.

I remember my first contact I had with Eternity Matters, I was lvling up in Duskwood when a priest named Nathaniel was advertising in general chat about a christian guild. At first I just ignored it, but then I saw people in general chat making fun of him because he was a 'priest' promoting a christian guild. I stood up for him in chat and he whispered me. I politely turned down his offer to join, but added him as a friend. We were also watching a guild fight one of the dragons of nightmare in the center of duskwood. That was pretty fun. :) Later on we had to quit playing wow due to a tighter budget and when we reactived our accounts the guild we were in transfered servers. That's when I remembered the preist and his offer, and this time I accepted.

I have some very fond memories of going into Strat and trying to get Firager his pants. Schnookms his gorilla tanked for us because no one at the time tanked. Poor Firager never got his pants but we had some good times :)

My first epic was from dungeon set one, I don't remember which part of it, but I was VERY excited. Pre BC getting an epic was a lot harder to get than it is now.

In BC I had my first experiences as a tank. Scary huh? Again, I can't remember the very first time, but I was pretty much the only tank in the guild. I was a very busy bear. By me becoming tank I was able to help us get better gear and let us get further in the game. Now when I try to tank I feel unneeded. We have many great tanks now. :)

My first experiences with kara were with a guild called Order of Nightwolves. Unfortuantely my husband and I left Eternity Matters for a short period of time and joined the Nightwolves. They were a wonderful guild, very progressive. They were casual/raiding. They didn't make you raid, only required you to have the gear to support it. I helped tank Maiden, but unfortuantely we didn't get her down. They were also new to kara, so it took some time to get the fight down. Later on we joined EM again and shared with them about casual/raiding and they decided to try that approach, and it has worked out very well for them :)

Ulduar and other ramblings

2009-05-13T11:44:00.000-07:00

Last night I took part in my first 25 man Ulduar. It was fun for the most part, I really hate being sacraficed to take out the turrents on Flame Levithan. I say this because I always seem to die, a long with how ever is taking out the turrents with me. When we parachute down we ping the map so the others on motorcycles can come and save us. It never seems to happen that way :( I heal myself while I wait for someone to come get me, but I can't heal through the damage I am taking. By the time I saw my first glipse of a motor cycle I was dead. I understand this is a learning expereince for everyone so I just hope who ever is riding the motorclycles gets faster at finding me lol

Besides the Ulduar run I haven't really played much, I always seem busy. I go to work during the day and by the time evening comes around I don't feel like playing. I did however make a dwarf hunter. I thought about making another night elf, but everything I have that can be a night elf is..so I decided I should mix it up a little. She's not my first hunter, I have a lvl 70ish hunter, but I transfered her so I could make a DK on another server before they allowed you to do it on any server you wanted.

On a side note, I'm becoming very anxious, and that's anxious in a bad way. My nerves are getting to me, and I have had this problem since I was a child. I am still dwelling on the IVF process that I will undergo next month and my poor nerves can't handle it. I am currently home alone and all I have been doing is watching the discovery channel programs that involve babies. It's self torture. Yes I get all teary eyed when I see that baby being born, and then I ask myself "Why are you watching this stuff!" In all honesty I don't know how I will take it if the IVF doesn't work. I just hope I don't have to find out.

On a happier note I have also been thinking about what if it does work..what shall I call my baby/babies (I have a 15% chance of twins withIVF) . I like Brendan and Brianna. :) Taylore and Conner are also nice. I can't decide o.O Suggestions anyone? hehe

Ole Blue!

2009-05-04T08:28:00.001-07:00

My last post I was worried about gettin the turtle mount, sadly I have yet to accquire it. I did however get an even better mount :) Yes that is Lunas on a blue proto drake mount. I got it the first day of childrens week when I went in to Utgarde Pinnacle to defeat king Yimiron for the achievment. When I first saw it drop I was a little confused, I knew only the last boss droped an epic..then I took a closer look and I realized it was the mount! Everyone rolled Need..and I WON! How did that happen? I never win rolls. lol I screamed, but not in vent to save my guildies ears, and did a little dance in my chair. :)

I also got my first item lvl 219 piece of gear in Ulduar last week. I got Eye of the Broodmother of off Razorscale. It was an EM first for downing her too. I really enjoyed the fight, and it only took us 2 tries to get it. I admit, I'm always a little nervous when we don't have our awesome pally/warrior (Therigwin/Enok) duo going on in new content, but everything went great with a diffrent pally tank Ariden. We also got down XT-200 Deconstructor, it was my first time getting it down, but not EM's. I had to go to work that night :(

Also, a last piece of news, my husband is lvling a shaman..for me. lol Can you believe it? We were talking one night about how he thought I'd love to play a shaman and I replied I can never get one past lvl 10 and if he'd lvl it to 20 I'd play one. He said he would, but he didn't stop at 20, the shaman is already lvl 31 and he's still going. I'm not going to complain, I just hope he teaches me how to play her when he finally decides to hand her over to me. lol

Turtles and Fishing Achievments

2009-04-24T19:56:00.000-07:00

Such a pretty mount isn't it? Sadly, Lunas does not have this mount...yet. One day it shall be mine! It's just so darn cute, all I need is my Speedy trailing behind me and it's a set. lol One of my friends in game just caught a Sea turtle mount today. I am happy for him, but I would really like to have one of my own.

For anyone that is interested, there is an awesome website called El's Extreme Anglin' that can guide you on any fishing achiements. I used this website to complete some of my achievments, and it helped me go faster because it tells you in what order to do things. Worth checking into, in my opinion.

On a side note, have I mentioned I hate Eclipse..yeah, I think I have. lol I speced back into it when blizz gave the druids back their talent points, and just as always, I hated it. I thought maybe since they changed it I would see an increase in my dps. Well the opposite happend. Not because anything is wrong with the talent, but because I don't pay attention. I believe the T8 pieces actually have a set bonus to deal with Eclipse..and if I ever get that set bonus I guess I am in trouble. I will deal with that if the time ever comes. lol

Update

2009-04-21T14:25:00.000-07:00

Lunas got to go to Ulduar, and had a blast! We got the first boss down, and didn't have any luck on the others. But, that's ok. I had a lot of fun, even if I died a lot. lol Flame Levithan went down after 2 tries, and that's pretty darn good! I earned the achievement Take Out Those Turrents, and I love getting achievements.

There are a few things I'd like to get off of the first boss: Energy Siphon, Combustion Bracers (Yum, hit rating!), and Lifespark Visage. The helm is pretty awesome, it has haste rating, a blue socket and a meta socket. My current helm has hit rating, but I think I would sacrafice it for this helm. lol The only problem with the Lifespark is it looks like a rogue mask.

**Baby Update!** I went to the doctor today for my consultation, and I left feeling pretty bummed. He told us that IVF costs on average $9,000. He told us to check with our insurance provider to see what medications they would cover. Well, in the process of doing that, we discover we have a $12,000 life time infertility insurance coverage. My spirits soared! My husband has to check with his company tomorrow to make 100% for certain, but I am so excited. From start to finish the IVF process takes about six weeks, so with any luck I will be able to report that I will be having my own little 'cub' as Therigwin put it. :)

Baby Blues

2009-04-16T16:07:00.000-07:00

Next week is going to be a little scary for me, I am going for a consultation at a fertility clinic. As some of the officers of the guild know, my husband and I have been trying to have a child for well over a year now, it's probablly close to two year now that I think of it. I won't go into a great deal of details here about what is wrong, but it has to do with my estrogen levels, which are too low. Why I'm like this I don't know, and it's made me VERY upset at some points. The next step for me is ivf, which can get expensive. I'm not sure how much it is, I will figure that out on tuesday. I hope we can afford it, if not..well there's nothing else to do.

I've been putting off this visit for months, giving the excuse that I'd wait until we had more money. My parents told me a while ago that if I was waiting for the perfect time to conceive, then that time would never come. There is always something going on in your life. I don't want to put it off any longer. I'm tired of seeing other family members with their babies, wishing that I was the one holding a new baby. I'm tired of feeling envious of those around me, and tired of feeling guilty because I feel envious. If I don't just go for it, nothing will ever happen.

Patch Day, Hurray!

2009-04-14T06:32:00.000-07:00

Oh the excitement! Patch day is here at last. :) I don't know what to do. I've been wrestling with the idea of becoming tank spec for my secondary spec, but will it be worth my 1000g? Will I end up just getting to tank maybe once, twice? I know in raids I will more than likely be dps because we already have some great tanks that are primary spec. Maybe I'll just talk myself out of it and just be feral dps. lol Or, here's another wild thought, try to learn to heal? I have caster gear already, it wouldn't be hard to get healing gear. Those who know me will just laugh and say 'Yeah right!'. That's what I say too, I don't think I'd do very well.
I saw that everyone will get there talents refunded, which I'm happy about. I'm thinking of tweaking my balance tree because they are boosting the damage you gain from eclipse. I noticed when I speced it last time that it wasn't that large of a boost in damage, and I hated watching for procs, but now it may be well worth watching for those procs.
There are some things I may spec out of as well. Such as Typhoon, it now does a 3 second daze. Before it was just a knock back and I used it in raids. I know from experience of being a tank that when you gather a mob and someone knocks them back it can be slightly annoying, but I got over it...but now it will also cause them to be dazed which would be very annoying. I'm sure the tank wouldn't appreciate it if I knocked his mobs from him and caused them the be dazed and he had to gather them again. lol
But they also changed innervate to require no mana to cast, which makes sense. I always wondered why you had to spend your last bit of mana to get mana back, and sometimes you are completely oom and then you have to wait to regen enough so you can cast it. Also Mark and Gift of the wild now can be cast in moonkin form, that's just convenient. hehe Another convenience is Faerie Fire now lasts 5 min. That makes me have to cast it a lot less during a boss encounter. Of course for pvp it's cut down to 40 sec. in case anyone was getting angry. :)
I think the bears will appreciate Savage Defense: Trainable at level 40 with Dire Bear Form as a prerequisite. When the druid deals a melee critical strike, it gains a physical damage shield equal to 25% of its attack power. The next hit completely consumes the shield, regardless of how much damage was done. Only active in Bear Form.I mean come on! That's cool, you get your own shield now. lol

Of course everyone is excited about Ulduar, but what about the argent tournament? I've heared very little about it. The patch notes just say:
As the might of the Scourge wanes under the pressure of Azeroth's heroes, the Argent Crusade have taken a foothold in Arthas's back yard. Off the northeastern coast of Icecrown, the Argent Crusade have sounded the call for the most bold and brave adventurers of the Horde and Alliance to take part in the Argent Tournament. Representatives of all ten faction capitols, from Undercity to Exodar, have traveled to the tournament grounds to find champions among their heroes who will prepare for the inevitable battle against the enemy of all living beings, the Lich King.

I know we will be able to acquire new pets, mounts, dailies, new weapons, tabards, faction shirts (huh?!), and probably some other things I can't recall. But I'm excited over the pets and mounts. I really want the Little Fawn's Salt Lick, but I don't have enough pets. I would if I would get off my sorry tush and farm the whelps, make a horde DK and farm the black kitty, etc. But I just don't have the patience. Hopefully I will be able to earn some from the tournament a little more easily, if not, I will just admire those who do have them.
Also, speaking of mounts there is now a mount that you can obtain through fishing in Northrend pools. How exciting! Now when I'm bored I have a reason to go fishing. I read on a forum that it's a sea turtle, that's horribly slow on land, but great in the water. I don't know, but I still want one. lol

Heritage

2009-04-13T15:26:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to blog about where I came from. I don't want this blog to be purely wow, and so far it hasn't been. Above is a video I found on youtube, it shows exactly what I'd like to show everyone. It has the mountains of the Breaks Interstate park, and at the end it has a clip of the 'Garden Hoe', which is where my dad took me to swim many times.

I suppose this post will be a lot of reminessing. First off, I grew up in Breaks, VA. It's in the middle of no where :) My dad always took me walking on trail and pointed out the diffrent trees and flowers. Of course I don't remember half of them. lol He took me swimming in rivers and streams, not swimming pools. One particular trip he took me to watch some kayakers, and to do this we had to cross a huge bridge and go through a very long train tunnel. Well, when we were inside the tunnel the train came through. There was next to no room in there, and I remember

my dad laying on top of me to protect me from the train that was inc

hes from us. I suppose I'm glad it was pitch dark in there because if I could have seen how close I was to the train I would have freaked out.

I also have memories of fish fries and molasses stir offs. My uncle grew sugar cane and then got his brothers to help make the molasses. I remember it took forever to boil and stir the sugar to get it to be the way they wanted it.

As a child I lived near a creek and had lots of fun playing in the mud. I caught mud puppies, frogs, bugs...anything that moved basically. lol And at night there were no street lamps were I lived and the sky was beautiful! That's something I miss to this day.

I guess you could say I had a much more 'country' childhood than my husband. It's something I like to bug him about. I occasionally say a country word that he's never heard of, and he's like, huh? I tell him he grew up in the same county as I did he should know these things! Here are some words that I've heard growing up:

Mammaw=grandmother

pappaw=grandfather

Crik=Creek

Hollar=Hollow

Poke=Sack

Polecat=Skunk

Skittish=nervous

Smack dab=in the middle

Tared=Tired

Toboggan=Stocking cap

Plumb=Completely

Nary=Not a one

Crack the window=Roll down the window

Here's more if you're interested.

True Feelings

2009-04-06T12:08:00.000-07:00

Lately I haven't played very much world of warcraft. Poor Lunas is being neglected and I feel like my guild is holding a grudge. I keep seeing posts that say they aren't downing bosses because there top dps isn't there, and that the 'officers' have to make a decision wether they are going to make the commitment to raid. When it was addressed to 'officers' it was really addressed to my husband and I, or at least in my mind it was. I told them to demote me because I don't feel that commitment anymore. I was told that my mentality was wrong because it's gear, gear, gear. I'd just like to say that isn't it completely. Yes, that's one tiny aspect. I'm just like anyone else that plays the game, I want good gear. I know I'm not in the best possible gear at the moment and I could raid my little heart out trying to get it. I don't even know what the top gear list is for a boomkin.

I guess if I had to tell my true feelings I don't feel any connection to the guild anymore. I LOVED to raid with a man who went by Firager. He doesn't raid anymore because his connection is bad, and I understand completely. I went through the exact same thing for over a year. He actually took an interest in me, he'd whisper me, we'd have LONG conversations, he'd even call me at my house. Now I never talk with him and I realize no one else talks to me like that in the guild. No one really takes a personal interest in me. I get a few "Hello, we miss you guys", but no one knows me really. And I don't blame them, it takes two to make a friendship.

Also raids were more fun when they were 10 man, much more intimate. I enjoyed those raids I got to know people better. Now that we started 25 mans, it's like a circus. There are pugs that come and go, not even the same guildies always join up. The only consistent people are the guild master and her husband and they are much to busy to have those intimate conversations. I honestly don't feel like I belong anymore. The officers talk among themselves in O chat and I just chime in every now and again. I feel like I'm just floating around and wanted mostly for the dps I bring to the group. Right now I'm crying as I write this because I feel so many crazy emotions. I feel guilty because I'm not raiding, angry because I feel like they're blaming me and just want my dps, and sad because I feel like I don't have any close friends to talk to in the guild.

I don't talk in vent anymore, I don't know what say. And when I have made some comments I've gotten hushed and told to focus up. I don't laugh in vent anymore, I'm not in on the jokes that are being told. The most I say in vent is "My battle rez is up, who needs it?"

I also feel like progession is becoming a disease consuming the guild leaders. It's mixed messages to me. I'm told we need to progess, get faster, get farther. Then I'm told we shouldn't worry about gear, it's about being together. Can you have one without the other? I was having more fun leveling Lunas up, going into 5 mans and heroics gearing up than getting the gear in 25 mans because it's all about progression now.

I understand I have my own faults and it's not any one person's fault. These are my own feelings and I just wanted to express them. I don't speak for my husband, I don't know what he feels about all the things I spoke of above. Maybe I'm way off base on something, maybe it's just my own feeling clouding my judgement. I hope this clears up why I'm not on as much, I don't want people thinking it's just because I feel like I got to the pinnalce and don't want to play anymore. Yes, I'm a little bored with the content, but that wouldn't matter as much if I felt like I could have some fun raiding with the group.

2009-03-30T18:36:00.000-07:00

This week I've been pretty busy. Saturday my husband and I purchased a wii fit. I must say I am loving it! Yes, it told me I'm fat..ok obese. *blushes* I'm so embarassed! But using the wii fit is a step in the right direction, right? My goal is to work out at least 30 min a day, and so far I've done that plus more. I've been working out for about an hour these past few days, and my legs and sides are very sore. lol My favorite exercise is Advanced step, it reminds me of a simplified Dance Dance Revolution, which I love to play. I aslo enjoy the boxing game, which I just opened up.

I also got a new book this weekend it's called A Lion Among Men, it's volume three of Wicked. So far it's pretty good. It reveals more about the 'cowardly Lion' and a crone named Yackle. I've ready Wicked and Son of a Witch, and Wicked was my favorite. It tells the story of the Wizard of Oz from the witches (Elphaba Thropp) point of view. One day I'd like to see Wicked on Broadway. :) Maybe one day I'll be lucky enough to go there.

This and That

2009-03-25T19:36:00.000-07:00

Wow, it's been a while since I've blogged. I've been very busy, I recently started work as a cashier and I work weird hours. When I get home I don't feel like blogging very much, so this is the first time I've felt like writing.
While I was at work I noticed 2 young men that had a name tag with 'elder' and 'deacon'. I associated this with a church and I asked them where they went, and they said there church was in town. I was curious because I wanted to visit near by chruches. Wel,l I failed to realize they were mormons. I know almost zero about mormonism so I decided to do some research. From this site I found out some stuff that made my jaw drop. I do not wish to offend anyone that may belive this, but I for one was floored to read this.

1. Is There More Than One True God?

The Bible teaches and orthodox Christians through the ages have believed that there is only one True and Living God and apart from Him there are no other Gods(Deuteronomy 6:4; Isaiah 43:10,11; 44:6,8; 45:21,22; 46:9; Mark 12:29-34).

By contrast, the Mormon Church teaches that there are many Gods (Book of Abraham 4:3ff), and that we can become gods and goddesses in the celestial kingdom(Doctrine and Covenants 132:19-20; Gospel Principles, p. 245; Achieving a Celestial Marriage, p. 130). It also teaches that those who achieve godhood will have spirit children who will worship and pray to them, just as we worship and pray to God the Father (Gospel Principles, p. 302).

2. Was God Once a Man Like Us?

The Bible teaches and orthodox Christians through the ages have believed that God is Spirit (John 4:24; 1 Timothy 6:15,16), He is not a man (Numbers 23:19; Hosea 11:9; Romans 1:22, 23), and has always (eternally) existed as God — all powerful, all knowing, and everywhere present (Psalm 90:2; 139:7-10; Isaiah 40:28; Luke 1:37).

By contrast, the Mormon Church teaches that God the Father was once a man like us who progressed to become a God and has a body of flesh and bone (Doctrine and Covenants 130:22; "God himself was once as we are now, and is an exalted man, and sits enthroned in yonder heavens!" from Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, pp. 345-347; Gospel Principles, p. 9; Articles of Faith, p. 430; Mormon Doctrine, p. 321). Indeed, the Mormon Church teaches that God himself has a father, and a grandfather, ad infinitum (Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, p. 373; Mormon Doctrine, p. 577)

I know that religion is a touchy subject, but I wanted to post about something that was going on in my life, and this is something that has come up. I do not claim to have done any extensive research on the matter and I do not know if the above statments are true.

On a lighter note, I finally went on a raid tonight. I had fun, and it was nice to be with my guildies again. It's nice to know that my husband and I were missed. We just got really burnt out on raiding. I plan on only raiding a few nights a week, not every night like I had been. I miss the BC days when we only went to kara on the weekends. :) That didn't burn me out so much. Lately I feel like my whole gaming experience was to log in, farm the mats for my food, do some dailies to cover the price for my flask and repair bill, and then go on the raid. I don't want that to be the only thing I do every night. I want to level my horde druid and just chill out when I get home.

I'd also like to share a great anime show that I just found, it's called Tokyo Mew Mew. I love it! It's very similar to Sailor Moon, which is my all time favorite anime. Sailor Moon and Tokyo Mew Mew fall into the cateogry of 'Magical girl anime' click here for more info on the subject. I've only watched the first 7 episodes, but I can tell it's my kind of anime.
Well that's all I have to share for now, enjoy the Tokyo Mew Mew transformations and attacks I attached <3

Eclipse

2009-03-09T08:36:00.000-07:00

The weekend is over, and I'm ready to blog. :) I didn't get to report on my great Nax run last week. I got 3 upgrades! Still no helm, but it's still nice to get something every now and again. I got Binds of Yearning, Idol of the shooting star, and my favorite Surplus Limb.

Ok, when it comes to the talent eclipse I am a bit lost. I currently do not have it, mostly because I hate having to watch for the proc. But I hear it can up your dps. I also have been suring the Internet and reading different forums to see how many points to put into it. Some say you need all 3 points, others 2, and still others say just 1. And on the other hand I read it isn't worth it. I've had it, and didn't see a huge difference in my dps. But I admit, maybe I did the rotations wrongs. I will just have to pull my hair out a little longer before I decide to spec into it.

On a less stressful note, I have gotten my horde druid up to lvl 58. She's almost ready for Outland! You might say, silly druid you can go through the portal at 58, she's ready now. But my leather working is a bit low. So I must farm for rugged leather so I will be able to utilize the knothide leather. I'm so excited, this is the furthest I've ever gotten a horde character. I'm very anxious to get her to 80 so I can switch to being moonkin and try to get into a guild to raid a little.

Bumble

2009-03-06T14:11:00.000-08:00

I know I already blogged once today, but I really wanted to add my dog. :) Isn't he a cutie? He's a miniture Schnauzer, and his name is Bumble. He knows a few things, most importantly he's house broken. lol He knows how to sit and shake hands (paws) on command. That's as much as I knew how to teach him. I'm sure he's capable of learning more, I just never had the patience to do more.

Miniture schanuzers are described as Friendly, intelligent and willing to please. Once mature, the Schnauzer has a strongly developed territorial instinct. They are ideal guard dogs as they defend vocally rather than physically. ... A good Schnauzer will bark at anyone who may appear a threat to his home. ... Schnauzers are not random, incessant barkers. They are discriminating and intelligent guard dogs that assume this duty naturally.

And believe me, Bumble does not deviate from this description. He is on guard all the time. He goes from window to window peering out of them on his tippy toes. He has come to know that if he hears a knocking sound it's someone at the door..and he barks. I can just knock on the wall and he sounds the alarm. lol

Bumble is my constant companion. He rarely leaves my side. If I go into another room, I hear the clicking of his nails right behind me. He loves to play, he usually carries his toy around with him and paws your leg asking to play tug of war. How can you resist that? The only problem I have with him is his constant 'look at me' attitude. If I get on the phone he starts to bark and growl. He tries to make me play with him. That's when I usually put him outside on his leash, if the weather is fair. If not..I have to tough it out. :(

That's all I have for now. :)

Green Eyed Monster

2009-03-06T09:39:00.000-08:00

The green eyed monster, how well I know thee..

I sometimes feel like I should just stop raiding. Our raids are based on free rolls, and do I ever win? No. The last thing I won with a roll was my trinket, and that was because no one rolled against me. I saw some robes and a trinket that I would have loved to have. I really miss the Suicide Kings method of bidding on items. With this method you were added to a list and if you wanted a drop you would whipser bid to the master looter. If you were higher on the list you won, and then you were moved to the bottom. This way everyone got a turn getting loot. But the mod is dead now and as of right now, we can't find anything to replace it. It would also be hard to do this with pugs, and that is the only way we can do 25 man nax in Eternity Matters. We almost have enough people, but we still lack a few.

Last night after the raid I logged off and pouted. Yes, I regressed to pouting. I didn't rant in guild chat, that would be going to far. lol So I do it here. :) But this is my place. But I would like to say I have a great husband. He came with me and talked with me, listened to my whinning and then he just out of the blue told me something that happend at work. I was like, huh? But it was a funny story and got my mind off of what was bothering me. I figured out what he was doing, but went with it. lol I needed to get my mind off of things.

No matter how upset I get at not getting what I want, I still love the guild I'm in. The people are great and I love being with them. Just hearing them be silly in vent and the concern they show for people who are having a tough time in their life is enough to remind me that I am in the right place.

Happiness resides not in posessions and not in gold; the feeling of happiness dwells in the soul. -Democritu

Balance Basics

2009-03-05T09:33:00.000-08:00

My first two posts were mostly some of my opinions, now I'd like to make a more serious post with some facts about the balance druid. I got my information from here.

-So what does a balance druid bring to a group?

A variety of synergy aspects. 5% crit to the raid, that isn’t proc based (like Elemental Oath), 13% damage increase via Earth and Moon**, Innervate for a healer if the moonkin him/herself doesn’t need it, OoC rez to make wipe recovery faster, Improved Moonkin Aura is a 3% haste buff to the raid (provided they are in range), 3% spell hit, if specd into Imp FF, and still one of the best dances.

-What are the best stats for a balance druid?

Hit> Spell Damage> Spell Haste> Spell Crit

-What is the hit cap?

The hit cap is 445.91. Since Balance of Power gives us 4%, our Hit Cap is 342. If you spec Improved Faerie Fire your hit rating is 263

-How should I enchant my gear?

Helm: Arcanium of Burning Mysteries (30 SP/20crit)
Shoulders: Greater Inscription of the Storm (24SP/15Crit)
Cloak: Greater Speed (23 haste) or Wisdom (Threat reduction, 10 spirit)
Chest: Powerful Stats (10 all stats) or Greater Mana Restore (8mp5)
Bracers: Superior Spellpower (30 SP)
Hands: Precision (20hit) or Exceptional Spell Power (28 SP)
Legs: Brilliant Spellthread (50sp/20spirit)
Belt: Eternal Belt Buckle (adds socket)
Boots: Icewalker (12hit/crit)
Weapon: Black Magic (Shadow damage curse, 50% proc), Mighty Spellpower (63SP) or Accuracy (25 hit, 25 crit)

-How should I gem my gear?

Red: Runed Scarlet Ruby (19 SP)
Yellow: Veiled Monarch Topaz (9SP/8Hit) until hit capped. Reckless Monarch Topaz (9SP/8haste) if you are hit capped already.
Blue: Purified Twilight Opal (9SP/8spirit) NOTE: Only need two of these to meet meta reqs. After your two for meta reqs, Runed Scarlet Rubies or Reckless Monarch Topaz go in any other blue sockets (which gem is personal preference).
Meta: Chaotic Skyflare Diamond (21crit rating/3%crit strike damage, Requires 2 blues)

-What type of glyphs?

Moonfire and Starfire glyphs for raiding are essentially a must. They synergize sowell with each other. MF and SF will still be primary spells used in any rotation and with SF adding duration to MF (note ADDING duration, not refreshing it), the initial damage from moonfire becomes a moot point, so adding to the periodic damage will only benefit you, hence the MF glyph. The third glyph is still in the air, Innervate and or Insect Swarm…more info to come as it’s figured out.

2009-03-04T11:06:00.000-08:00

The boomkin dance!! It's the greatest dance in the game, in my opinion. I have the D.I.S.C.O. ball on my druid, and you can really start a party when you're waiting on the raid to begin. lol

Druids are one of the most versatile classes in the game. With just a quick respec you can be a tank, melee dps, caster dps, or a healer. Of course you have to have the gear to support making these respecs, but you get the picture. I have 3 sets of gear on Lunas. I have tanking, melee dps, and caster dps. Right now, my guild is doing fine on tanks so I'm safe from having to respec to feral. lol My favorite spec is to be a boomkin, oomkin, crit chicken, lazer chicken, what ever you want to call them, they are awsome!

For the longest time, I was known as the druid who had an identity crisis. I would switch back and forth to feral dps to boomkin. I always came back to being a boomkin in the end. But now with duel specing coming out, I am VERY excited. With just a 1,000 gold I will be able to either one with just a 5 sec. cast time. There will be no more having to spend the 50g to respec. Yes, I said 50g because I do it so often. It really puts a dent in my piggy bank.This will also be great for my guild. If we are short on healers, someone just pushes a button and now we have an extra healer. Need another tank? No problem just give me time to cast and put on my gear. lol

I'd also like to do an update on my guildie. He got finally tamed the spirit beast after a nice person in general chat announced that he saw it. Yay! There are some nice people out there after all.

Dreaming of a Helm

2009-03-03T09:47:00.000-08:00

This is what Lunas could look like with full T8 gear. I'm not that impressed. The only thing I do like about it is the helm, I really like the moon. Lunas comes from the word Luna which means moon, so I think the helm fits her. Those shoulders on the other hand, well it looks like she's growing oranges...weird.

But what I wouldn't give if Lunas just had an epic helm. I am in full epics, except for her helm. I've seen some drop in Nax and wouldn't you know it I'd have to lose those rolls? I even tied with a pug for the highest roll, and then I lost the re-roll. If my vent had accidentally been on during that it wouldn't have been pretty. I was beating my desk and grumbling very loudly. My husband just said 'I'm sorry honey.' That was very little comfort, but at least I know he cares. :)

My husband is my best friend, but when it comes to world of warcraft, I like to compete. Unfortunately I always lose. He is a very laid back kind of guy and doesn't even care where he is on the damage meter, but maybe he's so laid back because he is always number one? I know certain classes are just going to do more damage than others, but it's just the way I am. He has a Death Knight and he is currently the best geared person in our guild. This happened because he got 6 upgrades in one week. Like I wasn't having a hard enough time beating him. lol But I try not to let it get to me to much, I do have to live with him. :)

Before I finish with this post I'd just like to rant about something that happened to a friend of mine in game. He has been trying to get the spirit beast for 72 days, and a druid came down and killed it while he was in the process of taming it. His name is Scratchh from the guild Ultimatum on the server Eldre'thalas. This is a horrible thing to do to someone. It wasn't even an opposing faction, it was an alliance. Why are some people so inconsiderate? My guild mate even contacted the Ultimatum guild master and he was unconcerned. In my opinion they must not care what type of people join their guild. Shouldn't you care about your reputation?