Dreams, they are always a source of fascination to me, mainly because almost every night I can remember them in such detail. Last night, I had a dream that needs no interpretation, it's pretty much self explanatory. For some reason, Jacob had been born early, but yet was still healthy. I was like oh my gosh, I have nothing ready! I noticed he needed a fresh diaper, so I tried to find the changing table..it hadn't been put together yet, so I got David to start putting it together. Since there was no table I went to change him on the bed, of course I got the poo on our sheets and on his clothes. I searched for baby wipes to clean him up..nothing! Why don't I have wipes?! I tried to find clean clothes for him, we had none. I was about to scream! The only good part of this dream was that he was healthy, and I had become comfortable handling him. One of my anxieties is getting use to positioning him because I 'think' he's so fragile. lol I know better, but it's still a small fear of mine.
Obviously this dream is my fear of having nothing ready by the time Jacob gets here. His room is still a 'junk' room. There's no crib, dresser, changing table or decorations that have been purchased. We will hopefully have the furniture bought within the next month and have decorations and clothes from the baby shower. If I don't get everything we need we will still have a month and a half to get it after the shower. Why am I freaking out over it? Well, if you talk to anyone that knows me, they will tell you it's impossible for me to NOT freak out.
Another worry, that is actually legit, is that I found out that I have Group B Strep infection. I am currently on antibiotics and will need antibiotics by IV during labor to keep Jacob from getting it. My doctor doesn't seem that worried about it, so that makes me feel a bit better. I, of course, think of worst case scenarios, what if I go into premature labor and the baby doesn't get the antibiotics in time? I'm so scared that I could lose him, or he becomes handicapped in some way. I ask that everyone keep us in your prayers.